Britney Spears' meltdown has been shocking and very public. Now the troubled singer's former assistant offers the most revealing glimpse yet into the singer's disintegrating life.

Desperate to win back her ex-husband Kevin Federline, she cried herself to sleep night after night.

Her Malibu mansion became a shrine to their failed marriage, with her wedding dress in a case on the wall.

Kalie fears that 25-year-old Britney is on a path to self-destruction - and believes the root of her troubles is her inability to get over the breakdown of her marriage.

Britney invited Kalie into her inner circle after they met in an LA hair salon last December. Within weeks she was her assistant - the pair became so close they went out on the town, even staging a mock kiss on a wild weekend in Las Vegas.

"I met Britney a week or two after she filed for divorce from Kevin", explains Kalie, 23. "I was working as an assistant to a celebrity hair stylist. He had a call one day from Britney wanting extensions done. We did them ovfer a few days and on the last day when we were styling her hair for a party she said "Do you wanna come?"

"I was like 'Are you talking to me? Of course!' After that night we went out a couple of times together and really hit it off. After two weeks of me being with her she asked me to work for her full-time. I ended up staying with her for three months without going home!"

Kalie insists that Britney is a sweet, loving girl who dotes on her sons, Sean Preston, two, and one-year-old Jayden James, but adds that she couldn't get over Kevin's apparent rejection of her - and that obsession sparked her increasingly erratic behaviour.

"She kept her wedding dress in a case on the wall in the entrance of her Malibu home," says Kalie. "Her house was her pride and joy. She kept all of Kevin's clothes and she would wander into his wardrobe looking at them. You could say it was a shrine to him - or to their marriage, at least.

"While he was going here there and everywhere, she stayed with the babies by herself."

Kalie reveals that, despite filing for divorce in December 2006, after just two years of marriage, Britney hoped to win Kevin back. "She was incredibly sad and lonely while I was with her," she says. "I could tell she desperately wanted him back. She would burst into tears when he wouldn't return her calls.

"She'd cry at night a lot. She would sob 'Why isn't he calling back? Doesn't he love me and the babies? Why did he do this to me?' There she was with two babies and no husband. She had help but she didn't want it. She wanted the father of her children to help her.

"She'd look at Sean and Jayden and say 'Where's your daddy? I need help!' She doesn't want nannies. She wanted their father to love her and her babies. There were a lot of tears around last Christmas.

"Kevin didn't call to see the kids over Christmas at all, and he didn't see them at New Year either - he was in Miami. Britney would call him and he never returned her phone calls. She was so lonely."

Kalie confirms that the stories of Britney stripping off and walking around her home naked - which emerged during her ongoing custody battle with Kevin - are true. "Sure she walked around naked," she says, "but ONLY in her wing of the house and in her own bedroom. I didn't think it was strange at all.

"She also loves dressing up. We would go through her closet, smoke cigarettes and talk. She loved talking about how cute the babies are."

Kalie would accompany Britney on nights out. She was there when Britney got Caesar's Palace to open the *****cat Dolls Lounge (a tribute venue to the sexy pop group) for her to stage a solo strip show.

She recalls "There was nobody in the club so they opened it up for her. They pulled out the props that the *****cat Dolls use in their act. She loved being the centre of attention." In another attempt to lift her flagging spirits, Britney checked into a health ranch in Arizona, taking Kalie with her. But when she left last February, she was no closer to getting over her ex.

Kalie recalls, "She told Kevin she'd fly him to Arizona - but he wouldn't come. She felt so unwanted and she's already so insecure. It just made her crazy and depressed."

It was just days after returning to LA that Britney shaved her head.

"You can't say no to Britney - I tried," says Kalie. "Shaving her head is the perfect example. There were two times she wanted to shave her head. I was like 'Britney, it's probably not the best idea.' The first time we were driving and she was like 'Pull over at this salon.' But she didn't go through with it in the end.

"I wasn't there the second time, when she went rhrough with it. Her bodyguards could just have not taken her there but you don't say no to Britney. I still don't know why she did it. She never told me. She was forced into rehab before she got the chance."

Britney's stay in Promises in Malibu failed to solve her problems. Kalie claims, "It didn't help - it made things worse. Being forced into rehab made her crazier. What was crazy about Britney is the way she constantly changes her mind. One second she wants to do this, th she wants to do that. She is very indecisive."

Kalie lost contact with Britney in February after Lynne Spears accused her of being an "enabler" who accompanied her daughter on wild parties - a claim she denies. But it was no good. She was suddenly evicted from Britney's inner circle.

Despite fearing the worst, Kalie remains hopeful that, with help, Britney can turn her life around. "I never saw her do drugs," she says. "I never saw her take prescription medication. But she needed it. She needs mental help. I still care about Britney deeply and I believe she also cares deeply about her children.

"Maybe my speaking out may do some good in the long run. But a lot needs to change in her life."

I am glad she spoke out. There are two sides to every story and everyone sees one side that is very bias, that paints K-fed as a saint and Britney as a bad mother. Britney isn't a good mother, but she isn't the worst mother. K-fed isn't a good father I don't think at all. He's no better than her. I feel sorry for her and it's a shame the kids have to suffer because of this. She does need help, but K-fed should have been a better family man. Sorry but I don't see how either of them at this time should be having custody. K-fed is an ******* actually.

I just so do not believe this. How could or would someone hear another cry in their room. (snoop)Another TABLOID ARTICLE!! Pay no attention.

quote:

Originally posted by Hi-Enough:
I just so do not believe this. How could or would someone hear another cry in their room. (snoop)Another TABLOID ARTICLE!! Pay no attention.

You're saying if you were in a room near someone you couldn't hear them crying. Are you kidding me? I hear people crying in rooms all the time.