Someone at another site asked me what the experience of coding, etc was like at the hospital, so I wroye this about it.Have fun,lol.


I was wheeled into the operating room. They explained what they were going to do to me, these peopele with their half hidden faces and that I would be semi-awake for the whole deal.They sprayed something down my throat like I can only imagine is what WD-40 must taste like and I went out.I heard my name viciously being called to me, like I was a child lost in a forest .I heard,around three voices filled with panic and need, I heard the phrase "get the bag!" Then nothing.Then I was waking up. My head was so impossibly tilted backward, it felt pulled off and replanted all wrong.but okay. I felt so...unnervingly good.GOOD. Grand even.I may have never as felt as good as I did in that instant.I felt like I had left an insanely large birthday party where I may have been the guest of honour, but the best part was... I felt like I had just played the dirtiest trick in the whole world ON the whole world.I was so smug.I felt covered in glitter and oh so smug.I felt literally like I had icing on my chin that I nneded to hide or wipe off,that when I woke, someone was dabbing at it in a final gesture of farewell. I was trying not to smile.To give myself away.My brain was talking and I was just a nearby listener, it was saying.."ha, you ****ers just you try that **** again." My brain is obviously a cuss-mouthed sailor, privvy to places I have never been. I slept in such peace for a while afterwards, a smug peace, a I've-been-there-you havent kind of neener neener haha peace. For days after that in almost unnerving fashion, everything that anyone said to me, no matter of importance, ...here's your dinner.. or...you may have lymphoma....or the phone's for you, yes it's your mother again....whatever anyone said, seemed read aloud from a manuscript.That everyone was just a character moving their mouths at appropriate times or making the correct gestures from a script , I wanted to LAUGH..whenever anyone spoke, I knew that it was all a farce.Reality..a.k.a. the mother****ing farce, that's the play I was now watching, striding around in like dinner theatre.If they stabbed me with a needle to insert a new IV I was waiting for the pain to be deep and real, some kind of pop in the wily circuit of ******** that was going on. Hurt!! Hurt more hurt deeper!!! But it wasn't all teenage depression need to cut-to-feel-real-hurt that I was aiming for, no, it was this is way to funny that i can't really grasp the symptom called pain deeply enough.Oh my,too bad, yadda.
It was the talk of two floors of the hospital.I heard them talking about me in the hallways,coded ,arrested,seized.... It sounded like I was some ship caught between scylla,kharibdis and an embargo.They told me that my body had been so depleated of every last necessary mineral to live thanks to the celiac diease-caused anemia that the sedation had done it,merely being half-put out had tipped me into no more land.Later I was to find out from someone that had been in the room that it was a plain old over dose.But, I had signed all the waivers and had no long term effects from the incident...ugly bouts of joy not withstanding, so there would obviously be no law suit. There was no tunnel with a light to my experience at all, nothing "classic" or more understandable. No, more this....woot, see ya...then a softly shoving backward back into my shoulders and ease into my soggy brain again kind of thing.We are just wet cogs..waiting to blow out birthday candles in some other glittery wood. I still carry this disjointed "this isnt quite reality" thing about my head like a laurel crown. It's got a very arrogant laugh that slips out of me from time to time, when i forget to keep it in check, and sometimes I do have to try.Some part of my soul just cant feel badly anymore, it's been amputated like a dysfunctioning limb.Mysteries aren't so deep, shadows aren't as dark and impishness abounds. I think a Puck-like daemon slipped back into my being with me.As it stands they're not so bad a cell mate.Thanks for asking.

WOW. I am so so so x a million glad you are still here with us. You are so one of the most talented people ever. xoxoxo

Glad to be here..lol, not-so-talented, i got your bday card back in the mail today!! I'm so sorry it didnt get there!!

xo thank you Duckness.

Thanks for sharing, pen.

Yes you are. Aww thanks. I am gonna get your guyses card in the mail prolly next week. The Appalachian guys prolly got it an sent it back across the Appalachian trail. you know they can never find me..

Thanks for reading, Dutch!

LOL, Ducky, they have the worst sense of direction, don't they??

Yes they do! They need new donkeys,reindeer or whatever it is they drive around.. LOL the Reindeer Express. :-/

LOL I just saw the fire in your siggy as a banana for some reason..I think I should stop drinking caffine.

LOL fried banana Duckums, ssomeone git me some bread!! LOL

(((( Pen )))

Thank you 4 being U

Holy **** Penman, **** well wrote! I am truely horrified at your experience but yet I am clownishly elated at your "Is that all you got MOFO's?" attitude and comeback!! We got's to have our Pendragon around this animal house like forum!!

Ok, now I am off to hobble my @ss to Wal-mart for an extra large sock, not for the Holidays mind you..for my FOOT! Ugh, I am such a sight, crutching around, almost falling in my Petty like speed, but oh so proud to be sporting my Wool sweater from a Scotland sheep farm I got in '98! Cam hardly ever wear sweaters here in TX, so I really enjoy it and you have to pry me out of them!

*hands you a loaf of wonderbread & a bottle of chocolate sauce* lol.

awww penster glad your still with us,
((((( hugs )))))))))))