...At how I even begin to push the emotions that are holed up inside my soul right now. Today something happened that was so shocking and hurtful that I am absolutly gutted and angry about. Something that rehashed a day that broke my spirit.

Today: The mass murdering of 12 of my fellow Soldiers and the wounding of thirty-one more.

Flashback: To a certain day in 2004, when I was working in Casuality Affairs at Ft. Lewis. Now I knew many a day during my year in that Dept. when I thought the **** could not hit the fans more. I was about to find out how wrong I was. The day I am talking about would be the day of the "Mess tent bombing". Most of you will immediatly pick up on the time I am talking about...or trying to talk about. When so many of my fellow Soldiers and friends found themselves the wrong end of a piece of shrapnel, IED or worse...dead. I remember the call that woke me in the middle of the night, that cell phone flashing its squad car lights around the darkness of my barracks room as I reached out and took this call...


"Twenty or more wounded, multiple killed in action, this is not a drill".

Today: So you can or could understand with clarity my horror when I got into my Pontiac, turned on the radio only to here:

"12 Killed, thirty one wounded...THIS IS NOT A DRILL".

This is what happened today 11-5-2009. And while this time I was not directly involved...I was on that base only thirty minutes before and I live a short three minutes away and could here this time the wailing sirens from base that only go off for a dire emergency, screaming in my ear. Knowing I was so close and once again like that day in 2004, could not do a ****ed thing to help prevent the deaths of US Soldiers.

Only it was not the perceived enemy, it was a fellow Soldier. And an Officer and Doctor at that. One who's duty it was to help Soldiers cope with the hell that is called and respected as War. For some reason, something happened within him, I will not try and say I know exactly what...but it was enough that he felt the need to wage war on his Comrades in Arms.

On that note, I will be blunt and say...I have run out of ways to express what I am feeling right now, so I will post the poem I wrote shortly after that day in 2004. I think it expresses what my angst is right now.


Gasping into wakefulness, I reach towards the annoying ring of my cell phone...
hating the flashing red light it throws around my bedroom, knowing what it means
With trepidation I answer and in stunned shock I listen "Twenty or more wounded, multiple killed in action, this is not a drill"

Stumbling out of bed I jump into the shower almost without thinking,
an hour later finds me walking into my office and descending into hell
Somewhere in Iraq, something has happened..
an explosion at lunchtime in the mess hall. Now hundreds of my fellow soldiers are lying dead or wounded and the job of helping to get the poor families notified falls on my co-workers and I.

All thru the day and night, we make phone calls, field questions we can not possibly answer and read in stunned shock the reports that come in one after the other of how this soldier was killed and why that soldier was wounded.

Twenty hours pass and I feel the weight of what is called war crush threefold onto of me. I have held myself and my crew together for these twenty hours, but now I feel the shocking emotions hit me. "Twenty or more wounded, multiple killed in action, this is not a drill" Need I say more?
Twenty Hours

This message has been edited. Last edited by: wildchild,

Let it out WC...this is the best thing for you to do in this time of such pain.
I can not even begin to know what you are feeling, but thru your words you tell a horrible store of pain and angst you have inside right now.

Please post as much as you need too...to get this out.

We are all here to listen........

^^^^^^^^^^^ what she said. to the max

Thanks Cozy and Del, I really appreciate that. Today at work, we all walked outside at 1:35 (when it happened yesterday), to the flag pole where the flag is flying half mast until Veterans day and took a minute of silence. The base has today as a day of moarning and most schools and business in Killeen also did what we did at work as well. This town has really been kicked in the teeth and it will take some time to heal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbPPBTJWf94

quote:

Originally posted by pen dragon:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbPPBTJWf94

i.. don't even know what to say.

My thoughts are with anyone affected by the whole terrible mess..

quote:

Originally posted by wildchild:

quote:

Originally posted by pen dragon:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbPPBTJWf94