for almost ten years,court,lawyers.the mother,the states.dcfs,fate.ur minds capacity
for i hope can only hold so much.i pray you can sleep @ nite without worrying @ all.
u look @ me i can feel ur soul trying to pick up the pieces,trying so hard to understand,through the eyes of a child*the life u lead is not fair.
i get alot of chit for this.they say u have any children?my reply is my Godchild,like i gave birth to him.him and i bare alike,throughout the trecherous debates,9am gavel dances-snack breaks.him and i can look all in the face,said im not dead this chit has only made me stronger

i tell him,someday u will get the big picture,and u wont have to consume urself in which is not real,to wander in ur mind~the pain is so cruel now,someday in our thinking we wont have to hide.think of happy things to block out the raids,thinking of Oceans when the lightening strikes~makingitrain~u and i both
can soon leave our minds sane,for we run away with thoughts,anything to make this life bearable,to make what we deal with okay.

u kno my friend,they say our broken spirit is
the key to God heart,that is when we cry out.
God listens even if they r silent wants.
u r awake now i started writting while u were dreaming.i wonder what u were thinking,and i see
the letter u wrote to me last nite.i said lemme see it,u said i aint finished yet.i kno u so well enough,that i knew what u were doing,words i c more than breath & stuff.and if i could read ur mind while u were so intentivly spelling,u r telling me~i kno u will understand if i have to write it~ and u said let mamma joan read,also let memaw c.i have a broken heart,it was a knife through the heart while i sat amongst u all reading.

and u wrote to me,*insomanywords*
i wish u could stay here,and its just so cool to be me,& u r cool and so is everybody.
i love all the people that i saw,i hope i can see u again
it's none of my business to get in ur business
(my favorrite saying to him mus b mind ur bidness)to listen to what u say.u r good person and i would do anything for u to stay.
but its a good thing u leave cuz it is none of my business.

that is not everything,jus from ur mind,what i will b shameful of for life.i dont want to have u feel not wanted in any way,i have done everything for u,i can not tell u the whole truth that with me everything is not OK.
i promise now u r safe,im sorry from the state ur parents r ordered to stay away,that i left u that morning,if anything for u that i would change.

to me it is important what u say,how u represent urself,how u deal with change.i thought all night how to explain to u,in lames man terms i couldnt do it,i had to answer the difficult ?'s and try to give answers to things that will neva make sense.

u kno i never "left" you,and will alwayz b here for u.in my soul i yearn for peace of mind for u
hopeing although only a few days,ur spirit will b mended & u can start off brand new