This is very much a work in progress. Perhaps some day i'll post the finished article. But for now, i just felt like sharing..



This is where everything starts. Sitting on the dirt-ridden ground of a bus station eating McVities’ cheddar biscuits as an almost-attempt at a meal, watching the world as it turns. Watching as vehicle after vehicle, bus after bus, moving metal mass after moving metal mass works its way to its final place – evacuating, leaving, going somewhere.

This is where everything starts to go wrong: with the realisation that the world is still in motion, turning on its axis, carrying on, continuing as if nothing has happened.

I am just a girl with a pen and paper journal; heavy-hearted, numb to the cold and rain, too tired to raise my head. And no one even knows that I exist. I am surrounded and yet entirely alone.

At floor level I can watch them pass, these stampeding feet like a herd of elephants to a waterhole, rushing home to children and dinner and TVs and nights filled with more work; eyes closed and oblivious to my existence. Ant-level. I am nothing more than these six-legged insects, dizzy with inexistence and unnoticed in the confusion and frenzy; isolated except for my thoughts.

This is where it all starts to go wrong. Alone, abandoned and left to remember.

....................
I remember all the littlest things about my past.

Like when I used to believe in fairies. Right around the time when I believed that, if I stopped eating, my hollow hips and empty ribs would somehow fill with something a little like magic, a little like love; make the pain stop and teach me to feel better about myself. Right around then I started to believe that fairies existed.
I believed they were dizzy dances, falling stars across darkened skies, beauty flying on wings of music that newly born babies could see when they smiled.

I remember watching, glued to TV sets, while planes crashed into the Twin Towers, while people’s senses started to short circuit and throw them out of story-high windows, while it looked like the world was about to implode upon us. I remember staring in horror when the Tsunami struck, while panicked beings tried to make their escape and the earth tried to swallow us whole for all the damage we’d done. I started running everywhere in bare feet around then as some sort of apology for all the chemicals we were sending into the air. And I started to believe in fairies. I believed in fairies because without them I couldn’t explain the little splinters of light amidst the darkness. If it wasn’t for the fairies’ magic then I couldn’t explain any of these glimmers of happiness and hope in a world otherwise full of sadness and war and fighting and death and loss. The world looked like it was ready to disintegrate around me and it seemed to me that the fairies were the only race making any effort to help it stop. So I believed in fairies, because what other explanation was there? Without them I was lost.

Darkness beware, oh light bringer.

Just a girl with a pen and paper journal.

Is there anything much more..valid, and strong, with an ammo bin, full of vocab at your side?

Not much.

I love it when the planets align and you haul something beautiful out of the din, just like this.

poignant and beautiful

Dragonface.. you do realise you're the biggest bringer-of-light most of us know, right? <3

Thanks, delerium =]

There's lots more to go, but finding the time to write it is an issue at the moment lol

Shoosh ,star-girl..lol, how do you imagine I recognize the light-source?

(1400 words and counting...lets soldier on!)

no prob ches, I love stuff like that.

quote:

Originally posted by pen dragon:
Shoosh ,star-girl..lol, how do you imagine I recognize the light-source?

(1400 words and counting...lets soldier on!)

No idea.. but Stargirl's a great book

No more words to formally write 'til October.. hoorah!