@ first maybe the want took over my thoughts currupted my innocent dreams.then again,someone i felt so near~so far away.wondering is it possible to love another blinded by the thought of all of this being okay.it is not.i have to extract these words,as if pulling teeth,when once upon that time my soul flowed like honey yet so bittersweet.........
is it the curse of wanting what u kno u cannot have this whole experience was to me a blessing @ a time when all i could do is SCREAM.now i do not care who in fact may have been listening.all i felt~was a lie.i-still learning!-MUST-!know the difference.... telling myself how could she do this to me?
love i once thought could no longer linger outcasted within the shadows of my needs, found me.simple gesture most commonly smiles the anger once felt has dissapated,went to h e l l with the resent contemplated.and all is left is a feeling for her of regret.wishing to let go even if i have to b sedated for eternety let me forget!
yes i cried while leaving that last time was so different,as if u can not tell,what was stayed in the slums,if it b a lie truth whatever we keep oh so hard trying to hide,i left it where i found it...@ home,so i cried cuz i had realized that this is only words nothing more so much less i feel in my soul.not only did i cry for U i cried for Her,this whole time i should have clicked erase instead of the One i have so longed for.& in my shattered heart she has died,maybe neva even existed * it is easier to cope * chit is so muthafuhckin twisted.
anger What? dont get mayud....if i believed what was in my thoughts i would definitly not have fuhcked around in the first place,how was i supposed to believe what my heart said,as if u would do this way b4 me.i think she is past heart ache,i wonder if she hates to b in love as much as me.does not matter much what i say,dont eva wonder y the telephone rang once with my words filtered,i refuse to get played.
i will neva speak of this again if i could tell u make u understand,i cant & neva will....did u kno we were in love with the same woman decades ago? talk about bull chit & no i will not say u can have her,she is not the way,if it was up to me i would have saved her,& let u figure life out WITHOUT me.and if i am wrong so what,if what i jus wrote about is not true,who cares....when i did speak of what i kno,how i felt,what is wrong with this fuhcked up Earth and the habitual fall outs-nobody cared,nobody does-keep the image of the faithful innocent love.
something in the back of the infinite mind reoccuring thoughts of deception-as if to believe she was someone else-cuz she had a crush on a woman b4 i even came about.this whole time oh it is only what i think,u played her first then came me.dont eva wonder y i cannot pick up the phone,nor even send a letter,i knew better to even give a lick a trust,knowing all well this veil covers up how u and i truely live.i will give u this...
